Random Thoughts

Delivered as a sinner in this blizzard,
My heart withers as my spine quivers...
Pouring rivers of tears, binding my fears,
Silence as my spine shivers...
Glancing over my colder shoulder,
The past sits in my stomach as a boulder...
I want my out of order life over,
Sick of waking up with puffy eyes half-sober...
My depression churned and brewed,
I've never learned lessons earlier through...
How I hurt you, burned and skewed ya heart,
Now left without one to turn to...
My eyes closed, locked in my psychotic room,
Over my head looms and ironic doom...
I slip into a trick of hypnotic swoons,
Writing dejected words to melodic tunes...
Confined in a shrine of solitude,
Teeth grind as I find my time in isolation...
I so miss inhalation, creation of a breath,
From normal brain wave respiration...
Second stage, my heart hardens expressing,
Arctic jargon digesting lethargic pardons...
Sad when you build your kingdom on an income,
That derives from narcotic bargains...
I'm told I'm a leech as a friend, yet I defend,
My image to those who teach this trend...
All cuz I support a family on a paycheck,
Of end's meet, when I'd rather meet the end...
Sulking in a bar, broke, where singer's strip,
More vexed in rage's vortex with lingering trips...
A pathetic loser barely keeping,
What I have left, grasping with fingertips...
In the mirror lies a deadened speech, ahead,
Subject to seek, a future that reeks of defective peaks...
What's next this week? I stand-alone till my legs asleep,
My only loves in life; Why ask to have... when I have to beg to keep?..